Not Me Monday

It is not me who last week broke the rules writing her previous "not me monday" post. It is not me who pushed the "publish post" button on blogger at 11:50pm and thought that she would have no problem getting her post submitted by the midnight deadline. And certainly, it was not me who underestimated the tortoise-like speed of our stolen wireless signal (i guess it is not stealing if they gave us the password...thanks, sanks!). therefore, I am not the one who did not link back up with mckmamma's website and failed to have the proper banner heading thingy over last monday's post.

I totally did not nearly bawl my eyes out today while reading a naptime story to young K because I found the message of the story to be so touching. And it is not me who now has a favorite children's book titled Small One. And I most certainly am not getting a little teary-eyed this moment just from thinking about the sweet, sweet story.

The husband and I have NOT been rewatching all the seasons of the office for the past several weeks. We are by no means addicted. I, for one, DO NOT dream about any of the characters, especially Jim, Pam, and Kelly. And, for the record, I do not think season 3 is the best season and i do not think the Jim/Pam storyline is the best!

No matter what our neighbors might tell you, do not believe them when they tell you how we missed our trash pick up on wednesday morning by mere seconds. It was not us who drug their garbage can to the street even after the truck had passed our house, in hopes we could get it taken when the city truck came back for the other side of the street (turns out they got both sides at the same time). Even if we had missed the truck, it is not like we missed the previous week either! So, rest assured that our bin is not STILL on the street, nearly one week later, and is ABSOLUTELY NOT crammed so full and overflowing that one is unable to put the lid on. Since we did none of that, we are NOT worried that the garbage trucks will not run on this wednesday which is Christmas eve.

I do not currently have a laundry hamper piled higher than said garbage can filled with dirty clothes. It is not me because I do not have a broken washing machine. So, of course I will not be the one who is packing DIRTY clothes (including underwear) in her suitcase tomorrow in hopes that she can wash them when she gets to either set of parents house. Also, this is not a sore subject!

I am not so proud of myself for keeping a nearly spotless house all week last week. I most certainly did not MAKE OUR BED EVERY MORNING! That would be ridiculous! also, I did not enjoy the serenity that a clean house can bring and seriously contemplate putting much more effort into housework.

it is NOT ME who waited to Christmas shop until yesterday, today, and tomorrow! I did not have to push and shove my way through hoards of people just to walk down the crowded mall. and i most certainly did not swear in my head because i was so impatient with certain other last-minute shoppers who were taking their sweet time.

And last, it is NOT me who came upon a pair of boots at dillards and seriously entertained the idea of paying the $300 price tag. i did not suddenly snap back into reality and calculate all that could be bought with that amount of money.

not me monday

For several months, thanks to tracy, i have been addicted to checking mckmama's blog. she has an incredible story involving a miracle named stellan. you should check it out. anyway, she is the one who came up with not me mondays, and this is my first one....so here goes!

i most certainly have not been sick with some sort of ailment for nearly 6 weeks. it is not me who had a sore throat for almost a month, and not me who is currently so snotty that i have not been able to sleep for two nights. also, if this had been me, of course i would have gone to a doctor. it would be ridiculous not too!

it is not me who is an awful housekeeper. i am definitely not the one who finally swept her kitchen floor for the first time in months saturday morning! also, not me who only cleaned her house because she had major company coming over for a progressive dinner party on saturday night. and while we are at it, it is not me who got so stuffy and whose voice turned froggy due to all the dust she was cleaning (probably more like just spreading the dust around).

it wasn't me who tried to be clever when trying a new recipe for said party saturday night. i most certainly did not ruin my first batch of chocolate fondue and have to rush to the store an hour before the party started to buy more ingredients for fondue attempt number 2. and i absolutely was not a half hour late for the party either because of the recipe mishap. also, in an attempt to hurriedly clean up a messy kitchen, i DID NOT just store the ruined pot of fondue in the stove to deal with later. and i was certainly not trying to give off the appearance of "having it all together" for the benefit of my girlfriends attending the party.

and last, i am not the one who has a wonderful bff named meredith...actually, i think i will own up to that part! but, it was not me who wrote an email from mer's email account telling another friend that mer was getting on my nerves. and no, this was not after our sophomore year in college. and no, mer did not just confess to me that i did such a thing 8 yrs ago while she was in my kitchen saturday graciously helping me prepare for the impending party. and i was not humiliated in the least that i did such an atrocious act of betrayal! and even if i had done what she said, of course i would have remembered it!!